Her life was marked for joy and celebration. Phinehas had chosen her to be his bride. Her husband was set apart to serve the living God she loved so much. Her wedding day was the start of days, months, and years of happiness til death parted them, or so she thought. The coming years presented a different reality from the expectations of her wedding day.

Phinehas still served with his brother, Hophni, in the temple, but everything had gone wrong. Still fulfilling his priestly duties, she knew Phinehas lived a double life. He took advantage of his position as priest in every way possible. With the provision of meat from the sacrifices, he demanded the best. One moment he offered praise, and the next moment he cursed his Creator. Most hurtful to her and well-known to others was his sleeping with other women, then coming in to her. Fully aware of his double life, she brought her hurt and her heart before the Lord. Though her husband was not present, Phinehas’ wife knew God’s presence. She also knew when God was no longer present with the Israelites.

Having lost in battle to the Philistines, the Israelites retrieved the Ark of the Lord from Shiloh and headed back to face them again. With the Ark in the battle, surely victory would come. God, however, was not in the battle. Israel had walked away from God long ago. His glory was not with them. Though still God’s people, their sin set them apart from God. He was not with them, and the battle was lost. Both Phinehas and Hophni lost their lives and the Ark of the Lord was taken. Upon hearing the news, Eli, her father-in-law, fell back and died. The Glory of God had departed. Israel was alone.

“Now his daughter-in-law, the wife of Phinehas, was pregnant, about to give birth. And when she heard the news that the ark of God was captured, and that her father-in-law and her husband were dead, she bowed and gave birth, for her pains came upon her. And about the time of her death the women attending her said to her, “Do not be afraid, for you have borne a son.” But she did not answer or pay attention. And she named the child Ichabod, saying, “The glory has departed from Israel!” because the ark of God had been captured and because of her father-in-law and her husband. And she said, “The glory has departed from Israel, for the ark of God has been captured.” 1 Samuel 4:19-22

Joy should have been hers at the birth of a son, however she knew the greatest joy had already departed. The capture of the Ark of the Lord sealed the reality. Israel was without God. God was waiting for Israel to remember Him, seek Him, and return to Him so His glory would once again be revealed in their midst.

In the same way, when I cannot see God, it is not because God has walked away, it is me. Sin has blocked the path as I stop following Him, putting distance between us. Realizing I am alone, I turn to see God patiently waiting for me to come back to Him. When I humbly bow in repentance and see His face, His glory and presence are revealed. He will always love me and pursue me. He never stops. He never walks away. He just waits for me to run back to Him, just as Israel learned to do time and time again.

Sometimes we quietly step away from God without even realizing we are leaving Him behind. We skip a time or two with Him. We let temptations eat away at us and give way to sin. We wonder why we have found ourselves alone.

God will never stop loving you, no matter how many times you step away. He quietly pursues your heart until you are ready to be restored to Him. He is waiting to draw you into the joy of His presence. Have you stepped away? Are you ready to turn back to Him?

“Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”  (Psalm 51:8-12 NIV)